Damn, You Too?: Race Issues

In a climate where racial tensions are high, DreamofBee finds it important to address said issues and give those who need it, a voice. These stories are the stories of those made to feel inferior than based off of the color of their skin and/or their race. It is our hope that by sharing these stories, we can invoke pride and the acceptance and maybe even understanding to the struggles of race. So with that being said, DreamofBee is proud to share the second installment of Damn, You Too?

I was a sophomore in college. I went to what would be considered a PWI (Predominantly White Institute) but my school was essentially pretty diverse in my eyes. The dorm hall that I stayed in was pretty cool and my floor was pretty diverse, everybody was typically respectful of each other. However, the walls were ridiculously thin (you could hear conversations if you were pressed up against the wall - I typically slept with my forehead against it). Anyways. One day, my roommate went home for the weekend and I was just hanging out in my room. It was obvious that my neighbors had some friends over as I could hear them laughing and being obnoxiously loud but it was a Friday so I didn't really care.

I think it's also important to note that my neighbors were white. Why is this important? You'll see. So, as I was hanging out by my lonesome, minding my business; there was a sudden and quite random bang on the side of the wall where my bed was (which connected the two rooms). It was clearly a male's voice - one of their friends, I'm assuming. And he banged on the wall and screamed the nasty "n word" - not the comradery one. If I'm honest, I think I looked at that wall in shocked silence for a couple of minutes. It was hard to comprehend. I've never had anyone say that to me before. Much less scream it. I think I kind of froze? Then there was anger. And then there was a lot of confusion. Confusion about how I should react, what I should do, who would I tell, and what would happen after.

Looking back at that day, there was a lot that I wish that I did differently. But honestly, you think you know how you're going to react until it actually happens. I found myself confused, angry, scared, and a little emotional. And once the realization kicked in and I recognized what actually happened, I knew that I couldn't react. I had two years left of college and I wanted to graduate and I knew that if I allowed myself to knock on that door and look them in the eye, I probably wouldn't have made it. I was also less confrontational then compared to how I am now. I think I'll always kind of wish that I would've reacted but honestly at the time I couldn't figure out how. I never forgot it though.

~ Anonymous

I'm half Hispanic and half Black. And I always grew up fully aware of both cultures. My parents made sure that I learned how to speak Spanish fluently because when people see me, they assume that I'm just Black and so they always wanted me to have the upper hand against ignorance. However, ignorance is ignorance and unfortunately, for as much Spanish as I know, I just couldn't escape it.

When people find out that I can speak Spanish, they look at me like a 3 headed unicorn .. and that's always fun. I'm sure to them, it's a surprise but to me, it's all I've ever known. I'm Black AND Hispanic, I've always been, I've known no other life. And of course, I'll get the little side comments whether it be in Spanish or English. The "You're such a pretty black girl" in Spanish or "I thought you were just Black". And while I have no problem being either or, it's really just the assumptions and the very public looks of surprise when the realization sets in that I'm both and represent both cultures equally.

Over the course of the last few years, I've decided to go natural with my hair. Slowly and experimentally learning the texture of my hair and the comments that I've gotten concerning my hair have definitely been interesting. For as "in-style" as curly hair has gotten, people honestly really only think that the lose curly hair is the pretty style. My curls are considered a pajon, those curls are beautiful. And while they try to give me compliments, the reality is, their comments are just nicely-worded insults. It's super frustrating to be both in a world that so desperately wants to fit you into a box of their choosing. I used to want to be "other" so bad when I was younger, but now I really can't see myself being anything else,

~Anonymous

I won't say where I work, because that would be a dead give away. And the further you read this, some of you might already know who I am because I've told this story a couple times to a couple people. So, I'll just start.

I started this new job and I was super excited about it and my coworkers were great and the environment was great and I was happy, finally feeling productive in the work-force and adequate in "adulting". At this point, I had been at my new job for a couple of months now and things were just great. So, Halloween rolls around ... and this is when things quite frankly changed in the ways that I viewed my boss.

Around the time, news outlets were reporting on the controversy surrounding Megyn Kelly regarding comments that she had made about blackface and growing up in a time where it wasn't considered offensive (FYI: it's ALWAYS been considered offensive - don't play yaself). Anyways, my boss - in conversation with someone near me, brought up how everything is considered offensive these days and how society these days was too sensitive. I think now is the time to mention that I am one of two of the only Black people in my office, and the only other black person was out to lunch. So I'm sure you can already tell how uncomfortable I found myself.

Overhearing his comments about sexist ideas and racial issues, I sat at my desk and cringed. Because up until that point, I thought my office was legit amazing. There had been no incidents, nothing. So anyways, I'm obviously overhearing all of this and he notices, so shortly after he calls me into his office to explain the conversation that I might've overhead and long story short, basically begins to try to defend his thoughts on blackface. In his mind, he was determined to get me to see that it was all a costume. "If you're dressing up as a character that is a race that you clearly aren't, you need to make your skin color match theirs." It's all supposed to be fun and games, but it absolutely is not. Once he noticed that I absolutely was not going to see his version of things, he basically just ended the convo with 'Look, I just wanted you to know that I don't see color, people are people and I love and respect them all. That's it." And I left his office feeling highly confused, frustrated and wanting to hop on his desk to do my own performance of Big Sean's "IDFWU".

~ Anonymous

It is our hope that by sharing these stories, we can evoke understanding even if you find that you can't relate. We'd also like to thank those who submitted for being willing and open to share their stories. As long as you keep submitting your stories to be told, we'll keep sharing.