La Vie En Rose

While October was my month of self-love and growth, allowing me to revel and understand my own accountability; November unpleasantly reminded me that it's okay to look back in order to further understand where I'm going. In ways that I couldn't have foreseen, the month of November truly instilled in me my own word of the month, which happens to be Reflection. I had a conversation with someone very dear to me on the last night of October and I specifically said, "November feels like it's going to be a month of Reflection" and looking back at that whole conversation and all that was discussed - I'm still in awe at how on the mark it really was.

I think its funny how connected our hearts and souls can be to other people and truth be told, I'm not sure that we'll ever truly understand it. The only thing I can comprehend, is that at the center of that connection, is love. Certain people and situations bring about feelings of regret and often times, we forget to look at the lesson in it all. As of lately, I find myself looking back at certain things and people in my life and coming to a sense of understanding. I've always been someone who strongly believes that everything happens for a reason, however I can acknowledge that sometimes the reasons remain very unclear and that's the most frustrating part. If you let go of trying to figure out "why?" and instead figure out what it gave or taught you, you'll start to see things a little differently.

During this month of Reflection, I'm choosing to find the slither of light within the dark, reminding myself to be grateful and present. On Friday night, Ariana Grande released a song called "Thank U, Next" in which she thanked her exes for the life lessons that each relationship came with. We've publicly watched as this poor girl was been put through the ringer this last year and the fact that she decided to find light where there was nothing but darkness is absolutely admirable. It teaches a very valuable lesson. While most of us as women are probably listening to this song as a "fuck you" to our exes, I'm looking at this song as an overall life lesson. During a time where it feels like everything is crashing down upon you and there's no light in sight, find it, be grateful that you're still here living and breathing, exhale and inhale, and then repeat, "Thank U, Next".

I've come to understand that you really never know how strong you truly are, until being strong is the only choice you have and it teaches you sooo much about yourself. Things that once felt like the end of the world to you no longer hold as much importance and the true values of life start to become more apparent. You look back and recognize how in the moment of things, you had no understanding of how you were going to make it through and yet, somehow you're still here.

If there is anything that I've learned within the last week, it is that life is so damn fickle and you never know when the last time is really the last time. Everything in this world somehow connects, including your relationships with people and what you take from it. I used to look back at certain memories and be mad that I was going back to that time in my life because things were no longer the same. Now, I look back and just allow myself to feel the nostalgia that comes with those memories and remain grateful for having even experienced those things because of what it gave me. We tend to get so caught up in our day to day lives that sometimes we forget to just be grateful. Tomorrow is most certainly not promised and for as hard as this life has been, it's also been quite beautiful. Remember that and reflect on it.

Dedicated to "Mami" Rosa.

   Thank You for all that you did for us, and all that you were.

   We love you.