The Break-Up Song

A great philosopher once said, "Breaking up is hard, to move along is even harder".

And the truth of that is, sometimes, it takes a couple of tries. As those close to me know, I'm of the stubborn type, I wont do anything until I'm good and ready to do it. Is it a little toxic? Possibly. We all have our toxic traits though, I'm working on mine.

But, the inability to recognize what was in front of me and let things go before they got even worse was something that I struggled with for way too long. There was this idea that things would get better and going through these hard, heart-breaking moments was all apart of the journey. There was also this mentality of, "We're inevitably going to get back together, and someday we'll look back at these times and laugh, knowing that we survived it". But then, I had to face the music and think about what was actually going to be funny about it ... and the joke was me.

As previously mentioned in "Be His Peace", it's almost ingrained in us that we have to go through hell for a "good" relationship, and because of that we hold on to bad situations for the sake of saying that we didn't leave when things got bad, even though we should've. More often than not, we allow the amount of time and effort that we put in, to keep us in unhealthy relationships. At a certain point, you have to decide whether or not you're going to choose what's familiar (even if it's unhealthy) versus taking the chance on something new with a possibly better outcome.

 I can admit, that starting over sucks, especially when you've gotten so comfortable around someone. It's literally starting from zero, getting to know someone all over again, and allowing them to get to know you - all while knowing that there's a possibility that it could all be a dub. But, isn't that how the game goes? You win some, and you lose some ... you'll be alright.

I've learned that like anything else in life, the hardest part is just starting. Letting go of what no longer suits you isn't easy, especially when you've built a whole idea about how things could've, should've and would've been. However, you'll find that sometimes you hold yourself back from some of life's greatest joys, all because you're scared and have allowed yourself to get stuck. At the end of the day, learning to love ... in any capacity is scary - whether it be learning to love yourself enough to walk away or learning to love again. But it's worth it. Regardless of whether or not things work out, it's all worth it because of the lessons and experiences that we get.

I don't regret anything and have learned to be so appreciative of it all. I've learned so much about love and myself, and am still learning. It was all necessary and apart of the journey. I don't have all of the answers, nor do I claim to - however, I'm undoubtedly happy and because of that, I want everyone around me to be happy too, because I know now that everything that I wanted wasn't obscene or impossible, it just wasn't meant to be. Don't look the other way when you get signs, vibes and energy about certain people and/or situations. If it's not meant for you, that's okay - that's life. No hard feelings. You'll find that eventually you meet someone and everything just clicks, the way that it's supposed to and then it all makes sense.

But, you have to start.