Jun 28

Jun 28 Somewhere Over The Rainbow

As the month of Pride comes to a close, I figured I’d take the time to write about the one reason why I hold Pride near and dear to my heart. First off, I think it’s important to understand why we even celebrate Pride in the first place and what it represents. So my dear reader, I think it’s time for a quick history lesson. The first ever celebration of Pride was held on June 28th 1970, when it marked the first anniversary of the Stonewall Riots with an assembly starting on Christopher Street and spanning 51 New York blocks to Central Park. The Stonewall Riots were a series of spontaneous, violent demonstrations by members of the gay community against a police raid that took place on June 28, 1969 at the Stonewall Inn in Greenwich Village.

Marginalized and publicly mistreated, members of the LGBTQ community decided to fight back in efforts to stand up for their rights as a people. The Stone Wall Riots marked a tipping point for the Gay Liberation Movement in the United States. And so now, in honor of them standing up for themselves and claiming PRIDE in who they are and who they love, we celebrate their efforts. Why does this mean anything to me? Well, although I identify as heterosexual, my best-friend/god-sister identifies as lesbian. And because of her, Pride will always be a celebration for me. I met Karolynne in the 4th grade when I was new to school and she along with some other girls asked if I wanted to sit with them at lunch. From that moment on, we just bonded. I copied her homework, she copied mine, we’d talk on the phone for hours, and eventually her grandmother began babysitting me after school.

Growing up, she was always the “guys-girl”. She loved sports and could play them better than half of the girls, she loved to play rough, wrestling the guys and she played video games. Safe to say, the boys LOVED her. If I liked a boy … he liked Karolynne and this became an on-going theme for a long time in our lives, she was just that poppin. So, you can imagine my surprise during our sophomore year of high school, when my bestfriend sat me down on a park bench to tell me that she was attracted to other girls. I remember looking at her like she was nuts. I just didn’t believe her and to this day, it’s the one thing I regret about that moment. To my defense, at the time there was this ‘trend” going around where girls had all of a sudden decided to claim bi-sexuality.

And so, when she sat me down and told me, I wasn’t really sure what to make of it. I doubted it because all of our lives, she was always the one that the boys wanted and she never went too long without having a boyfriend. So it didn’t connect to me that she was going to just give that up. What I couldn’t see though was that she was battling confusion herself. Coming to terms with the realization that she was in-fact gay and what that would mean for her going forward and how she would communicate that to her family. In going through the motions and experiencing these moments with her, I came to understand just how good we as heterosexuals have it. We are born into a world where we don’t have to figure out who we are because we just know, there is no reveal, no secrecy, and no shame. People don’t question our sexuality and constantly belittle us in terms of believing that it’s a choice. We can walk around freely with our partners, bring them home, introduce them to our family and our biggest concern will only be about whether or not our family members like them because of their personality and not because of their gender.

In a survey taken by The Human Rights Campaign, 26% of LGBT youth said their biggest problems were not being accepted by their family, trouble/bullying at school, and a fear to be out/open. You would think something as simple as loving who you love wouldn’t be the issue that it is. Unfortunately, it is. And in many states, the LGBTQ community can be fired from their jobs, denied promotions, evicted from their apartments or refused housing, turned away from restaurants or stores, and denied access to public amenities simply for being who they are. When I think of my best-friend having to face any of that, it enrages me.

When we were finally 18, we decided to go to our first Pride parade. Karo wasn’t out of the closet with her family yet so we told them that we were going to some outdoor concert in the city. The whole time we were there, I kept making jokes about how they were going to catch us on the Spanish news when they showed the parade. The pride parade in itself is such a loving experience and when we went, it was where my bestfriend got to see people living their truths freely and unapologetically. She saw a future for herself that looked full of genuine happiness and I think it excited us both. So it came to be, that from that moment on, when I think of Pride, I think of celebrating love and I think of celebrating Karolynne and all that she is and her happiness.

Over the years, I’ve been mistaken as her girlfriend many a times, and I held a resident position as her “work-wife” for most of her work events. We’ve had conversations about partners where we’ve both just asked “why can’t we just date each other?” … it could all be so simple. But alas, it is not because unfortunately I am undoubtedly attracted to men and all of their masculinity. So, we’ve settled for simply finding versions of each other in our future partners.

Through her struggles and triumphs, I’ve become more aware, compassionate and loving towards the LGBTQ community because I’ve seen how hard it can be to just be you. Whenever we talk about the future, our families, or our partners, I find it so important to express how I can’t wait to meet the woman that she’s going to marry because it truly means that much to me. I know that no woman will be enough in my eyes and no woman will understand just how lucky they are to be with an amazing and loving person like her. Unless, this woman, is just like me. But, regardless of it all, if my bestfriend loves her, then I will love her. And because of Karolynne, I will always stand for love – no matter the gender. Love is love is love. Straight like that.